Coming Out: When Your Heart Is Ready

by the author of “Mom, Dad... I'm Drowning”

There’s this moment—quiet but loud, private but world-changing—when you look in the mirror and whisper, “This is who I am.”

And then, almost instantly, a storm begins to stir inside: Should I say it out loud? Will they still love me? Will I lose everything? Am I ready?

Coming out is one of the most personal journeys a person can take. It’s not a step you take for others—it’s one you take for yourself. And it’s okay if it takes time.

🌫️ What’s Holding Us Back?

So many of us grow up learning, directly or indirectly, that something about us is “wrong.” We hear jokes in the schoolyard. We watch people flinch at the word “gay.” We see characters like us in movies—but they’re always the sidekick, the tragedy, the secret.

And so we hide.We smile when we’re confused. We laugh when we’re hurt. We play a part to keep the peace. We become masters of pretending.

It’s no wonder that coming out feels terrifying.

You start to think things like:

What if my parents don’t understand? What if I lose my friends? What if my teacher treats me differently? What if my culture, my religion, my hometown never accepts me?

And then there’s this other fear:What if I’m making a big deal out of nothing? What if I’m not “queer enough” to come out?

Let me tell you something: Your identity is valid. Your feelings are real. Your truth matters.

🕰️ There’s No “Right Time”

Coming out is not a race. There is no deadline, no finish line, no “correct” age.

You don’t owe your truth to anyone until you feel safe, ready, and sure that it’s what you want.

Some people come out at 15. Some at 25. Some at 60. And some never do—because they live in places or homes where it would be dangerous. And that’s okay too.

You are not late. You are not behind. You are simply living your truth at your own pace.

💬 Coming Out Can Feel Like…

Coming out can feel like freedom—a deep breath after holding it in for years.

But it can also feel like:

• Guilt (for not saying it sooner)

• Fear (of losing people)

• Confusion (about how to even explain it)

• Pressure (to have all the answers)

Let me say this clearly: You don’t have to explain yourself perfectly. You don’t need a long speech or a label if you’re not sure of it yet. You’re allowed to say: “I’m figuring it out.”

You are allowed to change, explore, and grow.

❤️ It’s Okay to Take Your Time

Don’t come out because someone tells you to.Don’t come out because you feel guilty for hiding. Come out when your heart tells you:“It’s time.”

And if that time hasn’t come yet? That’s okay.

Your queerness is not defined by who knows.It lives in you, quietly and proudly, even in silence.

🧡 A Message to the Ones Who Are Still Waiting

If you’re reading this and your chest feels tight because you're not ready yet—I want you to know: You are still valid. You are still loved. You are not broken.

You don’t have to have all the words. You don’t have to come out with a rainbow flag in your hand. You don’t have to prove anything.

Coming out isn’t one moment. It’s a series of small decisions, every day, to love yourself more fully. Even if it’s just by whispering “I am me” when no one else is listening.

🌟 Your Story, Your Pace

Coming out is beautiful. But it can also be hard, messy, and emotional. So be gentle with yourself. Surround yourself with people who see you and love you. And if you haven’t told the world yet, that’s okay.

The most important person you’ll ever come out to is yourself.

And when your heart is ready... the words will come.

Lots of love,

Ilias